Friday, December 18, 2009

On being a "perfect mama"

Being a mama is hard. It uses up the majority of your brain power and fills most of your day. As a mama you are constantly criticized, not only by other people, including strangers, but by yourself. I know that I can be my harshest critic. I am constantly worrying about the choices I am making for my family. I spend hours doing research, planning, and worrying. It's never ending.
Oftentimes I turn to other mamas, usually through the internet. I subscribe to mama blogs and I belong to a mama message board. Sometimes that makes me feel better and sometimes it makes me feel worse.
It's great to hear that there are other mamas out there who make the same mistakes I do. Some days I don't get the house cleaned, sometimes I sit my child in front of the television, and sometimes we eat McDonald's for dinner. Sometimes mama just needs a break.
And then I see the model mama blogs. As inspirational as they can be, sometimes they just end up bringing me down. I see mamas who craft and cook healthy food from scratch, mamas who seem to spend so much quality time with their perfectly behaved children. When I try and do those things I end up feeling like a failure.
I think that most likely, those mamas aren't posting about the messy house, the TV time, or the fast food. And that's ok. But I need to remember that.
I think that I try too much to become a different mama when instead I need to learn what kind of mama I am and spend time nurturing my natural abilities. But I need to remember that.
I think that I have the potential to be a great mama and make great choices. There is no such thing as a "perfect mama." But I need to remember that.

My reminders for today:
Dear Me,
Remember to be mindful.
Remember to enjoy what you have.
Remember that you are the best mother for your children.
Remember to focus on the fleeting, the internet will be there later, but your children are growing.
Remember to live in the moment and be happy, for you are truly blessed.



  1. Mama it's ok I am not prefect but I understand as well what you are talking about. I have those same fears. Just be who you were made to be and your children will love you for it.